Some Words From His Excellency, Rufus T. Firefly

Margaret Dumont: I’ve sponsored your appointment because I feel that you are the most able statesman in all Fredonia.

Groucho Marx: Well that covers a lot of ground. Say you cover a lot of ground yourself. You better beat it. I hear their gonna tear you down and put up an office building where you’re standing. You can leave in a taxi. If you can’t leave in a taxi you can leave in a huff. If that’s too soon, you can leave in a minute and a huff. You know you haven’t stopped talking since I came here. You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle.

A Tasty Morsel For Your Intellect To Snack On

It is said of Charles Darwin that his powers of generalization were so strong that whenever he heard any piece of music he thought it was God Save the Queen, and rose.

Coke, Pot, or Meth?

The Game Show Network, under new management, has intelligently decided to make the youth demographic its new target. With this difficult endeavor, they have commissioned us to create a pilot for a new game show. They asked for something flashy, something colorful, something cool. We told them to fuck off.

...But after considerable negotiation, we have done the impossible. We have created, an untitled, unreleased, uncut pilot that successfully gets your juices flowing. A show of gigantic proportions. A show of serious mind altering content.

The show will consist of three volunteers. There are then at least three contestants, and of course the host. Before the start of the show, each volunteer will be given a different illicit substance (i.e. Heroin, LSD, PCP, Marijuana, Peyote, etc...) The point of the game is for each contestant to observe the symptoms of each volunteer and guess which drug he or she has taken.

The Daily Double, if you will, is when each volunteer receives two different drugs and the contestants must guess the combo.

We have a feeling this show is going to be a smash hit, and will return the Game Show Network to its former glory.


*in partnership with D.A.R.E. (Drug Abuse Resistance Education)

We Might Get Married

Groucho Marx Quote of The Week

Time flies like an arrow.

Fruit flies like a banana.

Chew on that.

If Ever in Doubt, Always Remember...

Here at Memorandum in Tandem Inc., we just want to remind you that

YOU. LOOK. MARVELOUS.

A New Major For Gemma

Now not announcing Gemma Friedrich Soldati's new major: Reverse Psychology!

She will not be pursuing a career in any field related to the cognitive sciences. In fact, she has no interest in any of the social or natural sciences. Nonetheless, she has not chosen to switch her major in the hopes of not learning more about neural processes. Her lack of interest in any analysis or interpretation of thoughts or emotion makes her the least perfect candidate for this area of study.

Please don't wish her luck.

Pardonnez moi!

Please excuse my long absence from this magnificent forum.

I have been on location. Doing painstaking research day in - day out, in order to understand the true nature of the housewife.
Whether it is doing the dishes, separating lights and darks, or making scalloped potatoes, I have nearly mastered this age old art and opression of women.
In order to have more fruitful research, I have completely given up any faith in my ability as a human being outside of the home. I now know that my only talent is for pushing the vacuum around the carpet, meticulously folding my families under garments, the occasional trip out of the house to water the plants, and keeping my mouth shut when the men of the house are talking.

In conclusion, I believe that by the end of this research project, i will have become completely acclimated to a life of repression.

True Love Is Honest Love

Gemma Soldati to Sarah Diamond:

"You know why I love you?"

"Why?"

"Because being with you is like being alone."

A Portrait Of The Artist As A Young Man