Old News

A few months ago I took a trip to Canada.

At the border we decided to stop at the bathrooms on the Canadian Side.

In each stall there was a sign that read, "Do not flush foreign objects."

This made me stop and ponder a bit.

Are not mine as good as theirs?

Some Words From His Excellency, Rufus T. Firefly

Margaret Dumont: I’ve sponsored your appointment because I feel that you are the most able statesman in all Fredonia.

Groucho Marx: Well that covers a lot of ground. Say you cover a lot of ground yourself. You better beat it. I hear their gonna tear you down and put up an office building where you’re standing. You can leave in a taxi. If you can’t leave in a taxi you can leave in a huff. If that’s too soon, you can leave in a minute and a huff. You know you haven’t stopped talking since I came here. You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle.

A Tasty Morsel For Your Intellect To Snack On

It is said of Charles Darwin that his powers of generalization were so strong that whenever he heard any piece of music he thought it was God Save the Queen, and rose.

Coke, Pot, or Meth?

The Game Show Network, under new management, has intelligently decided to make the youth demographic its new target. With this difficult endeavor, they have commissioned us to create a pilot for a new game show. They asked for something flashy, something colorful, something cool. We told them to fuck off.

...But after considerable negotiation, we have done the impossible. We have created, an untitled, unreleased, uncut pilot that successfully gets your juices flowing. A show of gigantic proportions. A show of serious mind altering content.

The show will consist of three volunteers. There are then at least three contestants, and of course the host. Before the start of the show, each volunteer will be given a different illicit substance (i.e. Heroin, LSD, PCP, Marijuana, Peyote, etc...) The point of the game is for each contestant to observe the symptoms of each volunteer and guess which drug he or she has taken.

The Daily Double, if you will, is when each volunteer receives two different drugs and the contestants must guess the combo.

We have a feeling this show is going to be a smash hit, and will return the Game Show Network to its former glory.


*in partnership with D.A.R.E. (Drug Abuse Resistance Education)

We Might Get Married

Groucho Marx Quote of The Week

Time flies like an arrow.

Fruit flies like a banana.

Chew on that.